My title is something my daughter once said to me. She was only 7. At the time it amazed me how a seven year old could come up with something so cool and profound without even fully comprehending the enormity of what she had said. Her line was in response to me, trying to explain step parents. I had told her, that kids who had step parents were luckier than other kids because step parents meant more people to look after, support, help and most of all love them. She agreed “it’s not family tree! It’s a family forest.” Exactly I encouraged.
At the time I didn’t know that the women I was talking about would go on to become the mother of my children’s now half brothers, whom they adore. We will never be friends, but I don’t hate her and that’s ok, you won’t read about us both ending up besties. 😂
The most important thing is that my kids love her, and I’m certain she feels the same way about them. How lucky am I that my kids have a step mum they like? How much harder would it be to send them to their dad’s knowing they didn’t like her? Or worse me sabotaging it and causing that dislike for them. My kids don’t love me any less because they love her, hearts don’t work that way.
Although I wasn’t the first to re-partner I wanted it to be a positive thing, so if and when I did chose to date I didn’t look like the biggest hypocrite that ever walked. I also obviously wanted the transition to be smooth on both occasions for my kids, which it was. They’ve accepted all the new people that our relationships have bought with open arms. They have gained half siblings, step siblings, aunts uncles and grandparents.
It also isn’t just the kids who have had to embrace and adjust to the new dynamic. Our parents both sides have been particularly accepting, each taking on all 8 like they’ve always been there. No segregation, no his and hers! Just OURS and we wouldn’t want it any other way.
3Plus5 