In 2014, my husband and I had 8 kids between us aged between 10 and 1. We had been together for about a year and lived in small 3 bedroom town house. Our legal fees and the stress from family court was almost crippling us financially and emotionally while work was crippling us physically. Let’s face it, having kids is hard! It was back then in the thick of it we made the decision that while I was going into surgery for other “girly” issues I would have my tubes tied. It seemed like the logical thing to do, we were sure we were done.
“Our little cherubs”
Another contributing factor back then was our court orders. As they stood we got 5 weeks a year completely kid free. Mine would be with dad and his would be at mums and we used those breaks for us to be a couple and a chance to re-set, re-group and rest. If we had a baby, there would be no kid free time and it would also mean every second Christmas this little one would have been without it’s siblings. The kid free timing stopped in 2018 and when the 5 weeks kid free stopped, the reasoning left with it.
Late 2018 and early 2019 I suffered through epic periods and pains, I booked in with the gynaecologist and it was decided a partial hysterectomy would solve the ongoing issues. My surgery was booked for February 2019, and initially I was happy to be done with my “issues”. A week out from my operation I cracked!! “We don’t have an ours baby.” Someone told me, You never regret the kids you do have, only the ones you don’t. So back to the gynaecologist we went and scheduled our tubal reversal instead of partial hysterectomy.
“June 12 2020, Tubal ligation reversal”
June 2019 I had the surgery and we were advised one tube out of the two was successfully rejoined and after recovery we were good to go. By Feb 2020 we still hadn’t had any success conceiving naturally. Taking into account conceiving hadn’t been a difficulty prior for either of us (we had proof 😂 8 of them 😉) We went back for scans and were told the reversal wasn’t successful after all. Not all was lost though, we were advised IVF was also an option and luckily for us financially achievable.
June 2020, almost a year to the day of my reversal procedure I had egg retrieval. We got 10 eggs and 100% fertilisation but as the days went on only 4 were viable embryos. One was implanted fresh with no success. January 2021 a frozen cycle, also with no success and March 2021, a third frozen cycle again no success.
“Third implant”
After my first egg retrieval, We both decided that one egg retrieval was going to be it because it was so rough on me and I was quite sick. We went in knowing that nothing was guaranteed but a little optimistic and assumed it would happen quickly and definitely happen before we were down to our last little embryo. Reminding each other, what is meant to be will be.
“Our third Embryo”
If our last little embryo also doesn’t manifest into a pregnancy we will be upset of course, but we will also be ok and have no regrets knowing that we’ve tried. Our circumstances are definitely a little out of the ordinary and our attempt at IVF is the the cherry on top of the ice-cream sundae for us, and while obviously we would adore an “ours” baby if it isn’t meant to be, it isn’t meant to be. Sometimes the best sundae doesn’t have a cherry on top 😊.
To all the families who are going through IVF, I wish you all the best of luck.
With one more in the bank, and unknown schedule – we will keep you posted!
“Watermelon Baby – Summer 2018”
3Plus5 